H is for…

Harmony

Every class is filled with little H word humans:   heckler, herculean, hindered, hoarder, happy, hysterical, honorable, hilarious, hostile, humongous, hypochondriac, humble, headstrong, hearty, and harried to name a few…

But keeping harmony is a teacher’s gift.  Or is it?  Do we learn the magic of keeping harmony over time? I would venture to say that most beginning teachers believe this to be under the classroom management category of training.  I traded good behavior for treats or points or tallies or some sort of tangible outcome that students would buy into.  It helped us survive.  A rough team?  Well just give more points.  right?  #survival  #positive reinforcement  #pointsmarblesandtallies

Over the years I think I realized that harmony is not classroom management.  It is deep, real, and it takes time.  P.S. I love classroom management.  This is a different thing altogether.

A classroom comes with pressures.   Pressure of administration, pressure of covering standards, pressure of fitting it all in.  #thepressureisreal  #neverendingpressure

So what exactly is classroom harmony?   

I am an important part of my classroom.  I have meaning.

Everyone needs to feel like they are a part of something.  A classroom full of friends is the perfect nurturing environment.  It is also the perfect place to feel outcast, less than, or left out.  The teacher’s reaction to what happens student to student plays a big part in the students’ continued behavior towards each other.  Leading by example and teaching harmony is an ongoing daily process.

The best thing so far for me:  Focus on a student and build them up as much as possible. Do this daily, hourly, weekly…whatever works for your style.  A teacher friend of mine shared that she wrote down each student name  on a stack of papers to flip through so that she could be sure that each got a turn to be honored, praised, and built up before anyone got a double dose. It’s easy to praise certain students over and over day after day, but everyone needs to feel that same honor.   Students didn’t realize that they were taking turns being praised and built up.  They are being exposed to positive affirmations about all their classmates daily and they believe every word.  They begin to praise and admire too.

I am listened to and understood.
It’s not easy to listen when we have a full plate and the expectations we have set are for students to be busy and to be engaged while we are engaged in our teaching tasks too. Whether it is in small group, or a moment or two on the playground, at lunch while on duty, or a little moment at dismissal find one student and listen.  Notice what they are talking about.  Ask a question then another.  If you realize that a particular student is needy and wants your attention #24/7  take a moment to listen and then see if you can target one big need and make it special for them.

For example, I had one student that was taking from the recycle bin each day and putting it in his backpack.  I quietly questioned the student and found out that he loved to create art but didn’t have paper.  I loaded up his backpack with my surplus art supplies and a paper tablet.  Not only did this create a bond, but that student worked much harder for me.  He also stopped trying to always make art at school where his supplies were.  He knew that he had supplies at home so he could save it for a more appropriate time.

Others matter as much as I do.
This is a big one for creating harmony because students have to interact daily and inevitably conflicts arise. No matter the conflict, listen to both sides and restate both sides out loud in a calm loving way with both students present.  Then say: I can understand what made the conflict.  You were feeling __________________________ because ______________. {and to the other side}  But you were thinking _____________________ and that made you feel _________________________.  I can understand that too.  Can the two of you think of a way that both of you can get what you need from this?  How could we handle this next time so this doesn’t happen again?

 Teachers should have a golden medal in conflict resolution because we do so much of it each day.  I think if we keep a consistent vocabulary and react the exact same way day after day conflict after conflict, pretty soon our students know exactly how to get out of the conflict themselves.  Praise like crazy for problem solvers and stop the entire class {if possible} when you see that students have solved a problem or conflict on their own.  Talk about what you saw and praise both sides until you can’t praise anymore.  This creates the goal and expectation without saying so.

Now if the conflict is physical or harmful obviously you are going to have to follow your school protocol.  This is how I work on small daily conflict that interrupts learning.

I can help others as well as myself.
This one takes time for many students.  Thankfully we will usually get a small handful of students that are givers and helpers.  They make terrific role models in how to interact with others.  But most students are still pretty self-centered at this stage of development. Little by little, we can build upon and praise any efforts they make in putting others first.  Something that has helped this year, has been to make it a weekly goal to be kind to at least two people.  I know that sounds small, but at first I had to model it.  I had to tell them what I noticed and how I wanted to help and then I allowed them to help with me.  We saw someone trying to carry something too big, we saw someone that was upset about their work.  We saw someone that was lost in the hallway.  I also provide opportunities for group and partner work and praise the partners and groups. You can model this in shared writing or drawing at first.  Wow you made my best work even better when you helped me.  We call this good to great!  Partners praise each other for making their good efforts turn great!  You can implement these things during academics.  A shared story map where they build the story together that they just read and share it with the class.  Teacher models praising each one for their contributions and sharing how great the end result was.

Lastly I think it is important to remember that humans have been striving for harmony forever.  It’s not perfect.  It isn’t always working, and there will be times of warfare difficulty!  That’s normal!  Let’s not beat ourselves up for a difficult day, month, year.  We have ALL been through it.

Servant Leadership
Something that really helped me shift my thinking was being exposed to servant leadership.  The leader being the most humble person in the room.  Listener, Giver, Helper, Thinker, Honoring, and Affirming as they lead.  I think this example has made me strive to do the same for my students.  They are the reason I am there.  I am there just for them.  Academically, socially, and emotionally.  If my focus is on the students, then every child should be getting their needs met.  This will create an environment that leads to classroom harmony.