About a month ago, our family got a new car, but before you get jealous or upset let me paint the full picture for you. It’s not a pretty picture.
I had been driving my minivan for 9 years. I believe that my husband wooed me into this minivan during my prime in order to take away any allure or sex appeal I might project while out and around town. Seriously, I firmly believe this y’all.
In the past, I had made statements such as, “One thing I will NEVER drive is a minivan”. Hubs was very aware of my thoughts in this area, so he waited until I had delivered my two children and was in a vulnerable, hormonal state, to entice me with intoxicating pictures of a 500 drink holding, DVD playing, leather-lined rolling utopia so intoxicating that I completely missed his muffled mention of minivan. I decided this was my dream car and we headed for the dealership. Did I mention it was brand new? Oh yeah… another dream fulfilled. Unfortunately the dream was a nightmare!
Over the next 9 years, I went from loyal weekend detailing and sponge bathing my luxurious baby carrier to a disgusted, resentful rank and file soccer mom driving a grocery-getter and glaring at anyone wearing lipstick and driving anything smaller than my eighteen-wheeler. Somehow that van became responsible for my weight gain, my new 9:00 bedtime, my loss of memory and muscle tone, the bags under my eyes and other such delights that happen after the age of 35. I had become an empty shell, rolling through life in the food-encrusted cabin of the giant life stealing mini-vehicle.
So 9 years later, in May, my husband surprised me with a new car. (not new new we learned our lesson the hard way on that)
We are in love. My kids are now 11&12 so they, also, are ridiculously happy about the car. Being picked up in this car at school is just a tad more appealing than in the aging beast that dropped french fries and straw papers when the door opened in the car pick-up line at school. Other items would have fallen as well, but they were permanently adhered to the carpeting. (shudder)
The kids insisted that a summer road trip was in order with the new car, and I was in full agreement!
A quick phone call, a brief wait, screeching tires and Nana was on board!
We decided to drive to South Padre Island from San Antonio. Five hours of luxurious, individually temperature controlled and lumbar supported heaven! To begin the process, we all piled our luggage, trip food and beach paraphernalia onto the dining table. My mom and I quickly realized that we would have to lose the 15 outfits and 72 beach towels in order to fit in the car… the prioritizing began…no food was harmed in the process. Beach chairs were cut. We could stand and eat.
Adding to the packing dilemma was my children’s travel expectations of being reclined across fluffy flowing comforters. They wanted to each have a seat with an expanse that rivaled the average jet runway. You must understand, when all the seats are up in my new MDX the very back luggage area that remains is approximately 6 inches in width. We’re talking toaster oven.
As we began packing, it was quickly evident that we would be stuffing luggage, towels and beach toys in and around all the seats throughout the cabin of the car. And I say cabin with a smirk because with the seats up, it is more like packing a bin than a cabin.
We managed to get the car packed and set for the trip. The kids were so excited to hit the road, they begged to be awakened at the crack of dawn.
At 5:00 am my mom and I filled our giant coffee thermoses and woke the the kids. They were all a twitter with excitement and eagerly got into their car beds. It may have been the coffee, but I was pretty excited myself. I spent many a Summer day at South Padre Island growing up and hadn’t been there for at least 5 years.
We shoved and stuffed and as we put ourselves in the car, my daughter who was wedged into her space, could not fasten her seatbelt I went into the back to help her accomplish the task. What resulted could have been a production in Cirque de Soleil. We finally reached the goal when I told her to do a backbend while I snapped the buckle.
As we made it onto the road, my son’s small voice came from the back of the car saying,”I’m not getting any air, and it’s not because there’s a shovel and rake on my head.” Then, before we had even left San Antonio, my son sent out another muffled call, “Mom, I can’t feel my feet with this bag crushing my ankles”
Nana was quick to reply, “You think that’s bad, my toes are stuck under the cooler which is leaking and I have frostbite from the ice water soaking into my shoes.”
When my daughter didn’t chime in, we had to check and see if she had snapped her spine and lost the ability to speak…
Siri (my nemesis) even chimed in from the GPS with, “Take the next exit and continue to follow the road for …the rest of your life….” and it seemed that we did… but then the palm trees began…
and before we knew it, we were on the South Padre Island causeway. Once we crossed the causeway and made it to the island the only other adventure was finding the condo that we had rented.
As a final jab, Siri told me that my destination was immediately on the right….But when I looked to my right…this is what we saw.
A silence fell over the vehicle as we all took in the sights of the condo that Siri was telling us was ours. With a cracked small voice my mom was trying to see the bright side of things and then I realized the broken condo house number did not match the one on my reservation and I peeled out of there as I gave Siri a piece of my mind… so did Nana… and her voice wasn’t small or cracked.
We arrived at the correct condo and I can thankfully say that it is wonderful! Clean, safe, gorgeous! We are so thrilled!
It didn’t take a long time OR Siri for us to get ourselves on that beach!
SOOOOO Worth it….!!!!
Miss Cosby says
Good story with a good ending!
You Might Be a First Grader…
D. Frideley says
I have a Toyota Rav4 and it's smaller than your Acura…we took it to Florida – it worked. Pretty new car!!!
Jealous you're at the beach! I'm heading to the waterpark tomorrow…pretty close huh? nah, not really.
Siri the bane of my existence…the whole reason I upgraded from my perfectly good 3g to 5 ….only to tell us IKEA was in Rio (instead a block away) now we purposely ask her questions to hear her mess it up….(btw I am suing Samuel Jackson for false advertisement)download Google maps it works awesome! Glad you got there…now let's go to Vegas 🙂
April Kreitzer Wolfe says
This is one of the funniest stories ever!! Very well written. Siri has done something similar to me. I was trying to find a gym one evening and she took me to an empty field. Really? Oh, and I love your new car!!
I'm so glad to see that your children both recovered from the cramped drive and were able to enjoy themselves on the beach! lol Hope you had a great time! I don't have a Siri, but using the GPS on my phone while down in the Dallas/Fort Worth area was like being in the Twilight Zone. After going in a big circle for the 3rd time, I finally broke down and called my sister for help.
I'm Not Your Grandpa, I'm Your Teacher
Mary Lirette says
Hilarious! Enjoy yourself! 🙂
Mrs. Lirette's Learning Detectives
Great blog entry! Thanks for sharing!
Papers, Pencils and Books, Oh My!
Pat's Paper Passion says
What a connection I'm making to your minivan story…we had a full size van when my children were smaller (so no one would touch while traveling). I was SOOOO glad to get rid of it…I decided then that I could never to a bus driver-not that I wanted to.
Have a great time at the beach…The last time I was on Padre Island was 35 years ago and there wasn't much development. LOOKS wonderful.
Kreative in Kinder says
You are so funny! Yay for the new car!! I want to put you in my suitcase for Vegas. Seriously!!!
Crystal I've been trying to get her to go to Vegas for months now….I say we start a campaign ….LOL!
Lovely Nina says
Great story telling-so glad you guys made it and enjoyed your day at the beach!!
Jen Sykes says
Hello Mrs Sykes
Mrs. Davies says
You could have written that story for me…only I'm still driving my Honda Odyssey…and cussing about it everyday. 😉
Hoping once our girls get a little older (they are 10, 8, and 3) that I can go back to an SUV…I miss it!
Mrs. O's says
Great story! And like so many of us, so true, word for word!! Our family just came back recently from our trip to South Padre, loved every minute. I have a 7,6, and 3 year old, and this time they'll remember their trip there. We took them when they were a bit younger and they don't remember much. We had a blast!! And we went in my lovely Toyota Sienna!!! Plenty of room, but my husband was dying not being able to drive around his "awesome" Jeep Wrangler. I had to rub it in every time we saw a "cool" Jeep. Kids didn't help, by shouting, "Look, Daddy, like yours!" LOL Thanks for sharing, Amy
OMG! You are so funny! I remember those days when my girls were little…but now I'M the NANA!!! My oldest daughter and her hubby have to pack it all in for their 2 1/2 year old so we just have ourselves and our 25 year old…and since my grandson came along we've stopped taking the dog- which used to be a show!!! We are heading out next weekend!! Glad you had great trip!! Love your blog!!